My Apology (one of them anyway)

I always had the perfect idea of family in my head, ever since I can remember. I had a husband, and five children, two biological, and 3 adopted, usually from all different countries. Adoption always just seemed like part of the plan. So I never really understood why people kept choosing to do really expensive and invasive fertility treatments. Weren’t they going too far? Why can’t they just adopt?

9 Months after my beautiful, wonderful surprise of a daughter was born, I was ready for another baby. (My mind must have been very addled, since pregnancy was not exactly easy for me)  I thought that since my daughter happened when we weren’t trying, this would be easy. This, among many other things I have thought, was wrong. It wasn’t easy, and each month when that time came that I knew yet again I wasn’t pregnant, it was heartbreaking. And although I still wanted to adopt, for the very first time I really felt that need/longing/brokenness of not being able to conceive again. I understood why people go to the ends of the earth, and honestly I can’t blame them. 9 months later, when we finally changed our plan to adoption first, then trying again, I got pregnant with our second (and very last biological) child, my son. I have watched people go through years of struggles and infertility, so I can’t in any way say I truly understand, but for those 9 months I got a glimpse into what many people are in the middle of for years.  

We are still in our own struggle to complete our family, due to health reasons we can't adopt yet, and the waiting can be excruciating. 

To those of you struggling with infertility, I will not ever again judge you, and please accept my apology for doing so, even in just my thoughts. I pray that you will have encouragement, hope, and faith, and that your family will be complete some day, just as I pray mine will be too.

White Christmas..

We drove up to Portland on Sunday to have Chritmas with my Grandparents who flew up from California. Of course it happened to be in the middle of a winter storm!! The snow was around 4 or 5 inches up there. The kids were very excited until there got out there in the freezing cold and the wind hit them. We didn't make it home until Monday becuase of the roads, a normal 1 hour drive turned into 3 hours! We took a detour and avoided the freeway which is where the photo of the tree is from. I loved the snow and sunset!

Photos with Great Grandma and Great Grandpa!

Isn't it pretty??

Christmas Tree Time!!

We went out to the Christmas tree farm on Saturday and found our tree. The kids seemed to emjoy it, even though it was freezing!! Kajsa was very excited, and loved decorating the tree. Kamden loves "un-decorating" the tree.. :) -Some photos of the day!

Precious Portraits

Hey all! I have been so busy lately with Precious Portraits! It is good, and i love it, but it has been a challenge ballancing everything. It feels like I could work for two days straight and not be caught up! The part that has made it most difficult is taking on two preschool/day care centers in Corvallis that each have over 50 kids. The logistics of keeping track of the paperwork and photos for all of those kids has been a nightmare! Plus this is the first time i have ever done anything like this so I am trying to learn as I go. Hopefully all the work figuring out a system will be pay off next year if we are invited back, I certainly learned a lot! The kids range from birth to 5, so we really had to work hard, this is were Robyn is priceless. Her job is to get kids comfertable and relaxed and make them smile, which usally means she is dancing around making a fool of herself. :) The kids love her though, and we get good pictures because of it. Just catching everyone up, I need to get the kids breakfast. Love you all!

Trick-or-Treat

So we went trick-or-treating for the first time.. Kamden didn't quite get it, he liked taking the candy, but didn't want to put it in the bucket.. :) Kajsa had it down, and was having fun, and Nadine (The blond one in the photo that isn't ours except on Monday's and Fridays) who is 2, enjoyed it too, and would knock on the door and say "HELLO!" It was pretty funny, and the kids brought back a good deal of candy even just walking around the block.

Carving Pumpkins

Kamden and Kajsa both had fun carving pumkins.. kamden needed a bath when we were done!

Pumpkin Patch

This one's Kamdens!

Kajsa's choice

Sarah and Kajsa on the tractor heading for the pumpkin patch

Aparently the straw tastes good!