My Apology (one of them anyway)

I always had the perfect idea of family in my head, ever since I can remember. I had a husband, and five children, two biological, and 3 adopted, usually from all different countries. Adoption always just seemed like part of the plan. So I never really understood why people kept choosing to do really expensive and invasive fertility treatments. Weren’t they going too far? Why can’t they just adopt?

9 Months after my beautiful, wonderful surprise of a daughter was born, I was ready for another baby. (My mind must have been very addled, since pregnancy was not exactly easy for me)  I thought that since my daughter happened when we weren’t trying, this would be easy. This, among many other things I have thought, was wrong. It wasn’t easy, and each month when that time came that I knew yet again I wasn’t pregnant, it was heartbreaking. And although I still wanted to adopt, for the very first time I really felt that need/longing/brokenness of not being able to conceive again. I understood why people go to the ends of the earth, and honestly I can’t blame them. 9 months later, when we finally changed our plan to adoption first, then trying again, I got pregnant with our second (and very last biological) child, my son. I have watched people go through years of struggles and infertility, so I can’t in any way say I truly understand, but for those 9 months I got a glimpse into what many people are in the middle of for years.  

We are still in our own struggle to complete our family, due to health reasons we can't adopt yet, and the waiting can be excruciating. 

To those of you struggling with infertility, I will not ever again judge you, and please accept my apology for doing so, even in just my thoughts. I pray that you will have encouragement, hope, and faith, and that your family will be complete some day, just as I pray mine will be too.

White Christmas..

We drove up to Portland on Sunday to have Chritmas with my Grandparents who flew up from California. Of course it happened to be in the middle of a winter storm!! The snow was around 4 or 5 inches up there. The kids were very excited until there got out there in the freezing cold and the wind hit them. We didn't make it home until Monday becuase of the roads, a normal 1 hour drive turned into 3 hours! We took a detour and avoided the freeway which is where the photo of the tree is from. I loved the snow and sunset!

Photos with Great Grandma and Great Grandpa!

Isn't it pretty??

Christmas Tree Time!!

We went out to the Christmas tree farm on Saturday and found our tree. The kids seemed to emjoy it, even though it was freezing!! Kajsa was very excited, and loved decorating the tree. Kamden loves "un-decorating" the tree.. :) -Some photos of the day!

Precious Portraits

Hey all! I have been so busy lately with Precious Portraits! It is good, and i love it, but it has been a challenge ballancing everything. It feels like I could work for two days straight and not be caught up! The part that has made it most difficult is taking on two preschool/day care centers in Corvallis that each have over 50 kids. The logistics of keeping track of the paperwork and photos for all of those kids has been a nightmare! Plus this is the first time i have ever done anything like this so I am trying to learn as I go. Hopefully all the work figuring out a system will be pay off next year if we are invited back, I certainly learned a lot! The kids range from birth to 5, so we really had to work hard, this is were Robyn is priceless. Her job is to get kids comfertable and relaxed and make them smile, which usally means she is dancing around making a fool of herself. :) The kids love her though, and we get good pictures because of it. Just catching everyone up, I need to get the kids breakfast. Love you all!

Trick-or-Treat

So we went trick-or-treating for the first time.. Kamden didn't quite get it, he liked taking the candy, but didn't want to put it in the bucket.. :) Kajsa had it down, and was having fun, and Nadine (The blond one in the photo that isn't ours except on Monday's and Fridays) who is 2, enjoyed it too, and would knock on the door and say "HELLO!" It was pretty funny, and the kids brought back a good deal of candy even just walking around the block.

Carving Pumpkins

Kamden and Kajsa both had fun carving pumkins.. kamden needed a bath when we were done!

Pumpkin Patch

This one's Kamdens!

Kajsa's choice

Sarah and Kajsa on the tractor heading for the pumpkin patch

Aparently the straw tastes good!

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween a few days late.. :) Thought these photos of Kamden in his costume were cute.. i will download a photo of the kids heading out to trick-or-treat soon..

Catching Up

Hello all.. It has been quite a long time, but I was motivated today to catch up a little bit.. I tried to sign in to post some photos, and realized I didn't remember my user name or password, so it took me the last 30 minutes to finnaly figure it out!! Anyway, I am posting a photo of the entire process of our house being built.. :)

A New House!

Yeah, yeah, it's been a while, sorry. For those of you who don't know, we bought a new house! Well, actully, we bought a lot, and they are building the house. I will try and post photos as it gets built!

Snow Day!

We got some snow yesterday, as well as some on Thursday. Kajsa loved playing in the snow!!

Vacation Photos

Hey all, I am sorry that it has been a while.. Here are a few vacation photos from Zion and the Grand Canyon. I will post more of the scenic ones later once they are watermarked. For now here are some family photos.. (Kajsa is in Livermore with her Grandma and great grandparents) We will be back home late Friday night or Saterday afternoon! See you all soon!!

5 Years!

It's been 5 years since Toby and I said "I do" Looking back, we really have been very blessed, and I am soo lucky to have such a wonderfull husband.. I love you Toby..

Well, we are moving!

For those who don't know, we got an opportunity to house-sit for some friends that are currently living in New Zeland. This means we will be moving to their beautifull house up in North Albany with almost twice as much room as we have here! For the next 11 months that will be our new address, and in the meantime we are going to rent out our house. This will hopefully be a good experience and teach us a little about the world of renting! After the 11 months we aren't quite sure what we will do, move back in to our house, or buy a new one.. Kamden will be four months very soon, and Kajsa will be 2 1/2 officically in several weeks.. It feels like time is just flying by. This week has not been so much fun, Toby and I got sick, and several friends went out of town.. Robyn, I really do miss you! (Although Disneyland must be such a GREAT experience!) So this weekend will be our big push to get everything done and packed so that we can be out next Wednesday. Wish us luck!

Kamden is 3 Months Old!

Wow, it is amazing how time flies. Kamden is now 3 months old. I am attaching his 3 month photos that we took last night. Hope you all enjoy!

Wow isn't our baby advanced!

Happy 4th of July!!

Well, we celebrated Kamdens's first 4th of July yesterday..it was a fun day! We went to Albany's swim park, the COOL pool. We went with our friends the Buhls.. there is a photo of Leeann sitting in the water.. Kajsa had fun until she swallowed some water, then she kept saying "I scare me the water".. which means "I am scared of the water". Kamden seemed pretty indiferent to it all, but it was fun to be outside and in the water! :)

After all this fun we took a good nap, and later headed off the Monthieth park to see the fireworks. We sat with the Flamings, Kajsa enjoyed spending time with Desiree, and sat with Dean. We saw fireworks, which Kajsa loved and Kamden slept through, and then went home and Kasja and Daddy did some sparklers and pop-its. Overall, it was a fun-filled day!

A New Post!

Yes... I am finnaly posting something new.. sorry it took so long! It is certainly different with two kids, finding time to do anything is a challenge. I did take some cute photos of the kids in sailor suits yesterday that I just have to share. Kamden is doing very well, currently 11 lbs, 10 ozs, and 23 inches long. He smiles and will "talk" to you, which I LOVE! :) I will try and post some more photos later!